Anyone who knows me.. Knows I EFFIN loathe 4.1.. I am uber gullible as it is.. What can I say.. I am jus as sweet as pie and naive.. screechhhhhhhhh.. jus effin with ya..but I am gullible tho..anywhore I don't like tricks.. tricks are for kids.. and old dirty pervs.. so needless to say, I wasn't really looking forward to April fools.. ok soooo when I woke up to a text message about my sister winning the little lotto.. I was like HA yea whatev nice try.. and when my son came down..trying to cry thru his big ole smile about his arm being broke.. I was feeling pah-retty confident that this day was gonna go off without a hitch... mhmmmm.. I get to work and the chick who has had a hysterectomy for 6 years announced she was pregnant.. LULL.. I was thinking these muffuckas gotta wake up extra early to fool me.. being a Wanga.. not a good look.. really this is what got me was my wanganess...
**My beezy (we shall call her Collette..Cole for short..I always liked that name..probably I should seek out a Collette and befriend her and then I really could have a beezy name Collette..hmmm taking over the world one thought at a time) N-E-WHORE...
Okkk..so Cole has been friendly with a weird lil gent for some time now.. I told that heffa don't be nice to everyone.. that is like feeding the stray cats..they follow you home..same deal with P Diddy..<--that's what we are calling him.. ;)
So P.Diddy is a total creeper.. TOTAL ewwwie gooey..creeper and no matter what cole does P.Diddy never gets the hint.. OK SO THIS BISH IS SLICK.. totally set me up the night before I do believe..
We were talkin and she told me that P.Diddy is totally freakin her out... and she was going to block his number because he was starting to make her feel uncomfortable.. so she texted me later on that night and told me she blocked him. OK cool
I get up on 4.1 and mutha fuckas think they are slick but I'm dodging their jokes like dodge balls.. getting real cocky.. then she texts me
Cole-"Diddy is banging on my door..im supa scared..can u come here!?!?"
Me-Fa real Fa real??
**crickets**
NO FUCKING ANSWER
^^mind you I am at work.. at my desk.. and my heart is beating fast for my poor little ole friend and worried about the big bad wolf bangin on her door because she killed all his advances and blocked him from contacting her...and now he is probably super duper pissed ((he aint all there in the head if you ask me))
AND
this heffa isn't texting back... oh fuck.. should I jus get up and leave.. should I call the police.. what the fuck should I do..FUCK
I call her..
Ring Ring Ring...
Cole- **whispers** Hello
Me- **whispers back** are you ok
Cole **whispers** no..he went from the front door to the back door.. banging on the door really loud.. I am upstairs with the baby so he won't hear us. should I call the police??
AT THIS POINT.. I AM GATHERING MY SHIT.. KEYS, SUNGLASSES, PURSE..TAKING OFF MY EARRINGS.. PUTTING MY HAIR IN A PONY..LACING MY NIKE'S..PRACTICING MY THROAT PUNCH THAT I LEARNED OFF CHARLIES ANGELS..
Me **still whispering** dude I am on my way... jus stay right there..
Cole **still whispering** No friend it's ok you don't have to..
Me**what!? why
Cole** cuz I'm totally fucking with you.. hahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaa
Me**what the eff trick? **click**
Yea, she got me good.. ole heffa had me going..when I least expected it.. she got me.. wanch..
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