Grenade..((LULL))

I effing love that damn catchy..stays in my head all day.. gets all excited and turns up my stereo when it comes on the radio song Grenade by Bruno Mars.. mhmmm I don't usually like "bubble gum poppy songs" but I wanna break out in a juke fest when I hear that shit! True story... the song title makes me LULL ((literally LOL)) because I am a shore head and grenade means a FUGLY chick so I LULL cuz you willing to catch a FuGlY.. lull'n again.. anywhore.. As I listen to the lyrics of this super catchy song..I'm a bit alarmed and scurred to be honest with you.. When I love.. I love deeply.. BUT.. I'm not gonna catch a fuggn grenade for you.. I like my life TYVFM.. and I am not gonna putting my damn hand on a blade.. boy you crazy! I jus got a mani!! Jump on a train for ya.. NOT in front of that shit.. and lastly.. I might take a bullet..like in my arm or summin but I like to think think and I don't need a bullet in the head effin up my thinking ability.. Jus sayin!!

** I know you are..BUT what am I!? **

-**currently sipping iced cawfee and  listening to Californication by RHCP <<--jus google it if you don't know Geezzzuss..cuz I totally feel like Californicating right about now..jus sayin**

I really thought I would be having a craptastic day today...however so far so good.. My beloved Bears lost yesterday and usually when this happens I am super bitch for the next 24 hours.. Like don't look at me..don't talk to me.. and if you even DARE try and make a funny by talking shit about my team.. I will punch you dead in the throat.. Mhmm I said it, I am willing to catch a case for my team. I shall recap the game.. not gonna get into it cuz I might jinx myself and have a flashback and become superbitch IDK..

and this is how my kid feels about all this nonsense

Welp these pictures sums up what happened yesterday.. Except Grossman (#8) should have been Cutler (#6). Fucking CUTLER. I would love to CUTler his ass right about now... He needs to change his name to Jay Quitler..ole fukka..One of the most important games of this mans career and he fucking wants to sit on the sidelines because his knee hurts! He needs to off him self ASAP.. he needs to have his jersey ripped from his back. I would take Rex Grossman back at this point..at least he had a heart.. No wonder the Broncos couldn't wait to get rid of this piece of shit quarterback. <---Ole Fukka..I want Cutler GONE.. Go back to were you came from because you proved yesterday that you have NO heart or soul for that matter.. You are a cocky arrogant prick and they need to replace you like Yesterday!!! Anywhore off that lemme touch on the UPs..such as MY boobae Julius Peppers who tried his hardest to put that little fucker Aaron Rogers on the injured list..Briggs and his remarkable interception..Urlacher good to see you still have it in you...Matt Forte.. kisses to you boo.. you truly were the glue that held this mess together..
AND Dear Caleb Hanie 3rd stringer Caleb Hanie...sighhhhhhhhh FML.. like really are we serious right now.. I almost lost my lunch when they put the 3rd sting has NO business in a playoff game quarterback in.. NOW with that being said.. The Bears really buckled down and for a kid who has thrown maybe 10 passes his whole freakin career did lead the Bears to 2 touchdowns in 1 quarter.. I guess what pisses me off is that they CAN do it.. if everyone would work together.. WHAT pisses me off even more is the fucking interception that cost my beloved Bears a seat at Super Bowl 45...Caleb Hanie should never have been in the game to throw that interception in the first place... smmfh at Jay Cutler.. You are dead to me Cutler..DEAD! My boys are forbidden to wear there #6 Jersey EVER again!!.. Matter of fact..Ima drop throw in the garbage when I get home.. Jus like you did...Now go to hell and Die! OK Ok Ok enough...geesh I am such a boy sometimes.. LOL next year beloved Bears..next year <3

Texting and walking..umm harder than it looks..

**Firstly lemme give a big shout out to my boo Bapes...he is 8 today.. I jus love him to pieces**

Alrighty..So I was reading this oh scratch that.. I totally watched this video of this wench biffin into a fountain at a Mall.. Totally laughed out loud..((LULL)) it was some H-I-larious shit.. watch for yourself and then watch me talk about this heffa

 

 

Let me first say..HA! really like really! Po lil tink tink.. this happened like less than a week ago and already has over a million hits.. I would crawl into a hole and jus die! Where is the plastic knife cuz I am totally slitting my wrist...She on the other hand chooses to sue! What bitch! Are we serious right now?? Ok lemme watch the vid again... yea jus what I thought.. You were texting NOT paying attention and fell your simple bitch ass into the fountain..and got out so quick that who would really have had time to help you!?? So please explain to me how that is anyone elses fault.. anddddd.. it's not like you were flailing ur arms around tawkin bout "HELP ME HELP ME I CAN'T SWIM" no boo you got in.. got out ((and wet)) and got on with your life..I watched more of this vid on ABC news and they interview her and she says herself.. She was shocked she fell into the fountain and got out and prayed no one saw her.. Totally would have done the same thing.. I would have gotten up so quickly looked around like uhhh did anyone see that and  then RAN towards the parking lot.. But bitch you are trying to sue cuz you don't know how to walk and text... LULL ok then I wanna sue McDonald's because I slipped on ice in their parking lot and spilled Dr. Pepper all over my smurf blue windbreaker.. I'm not suing because I hurt myself..I'm suing because the whole drive-thru saw me biff.. AND had the nerve to honk.. ole fukkas... BETTER yet I wanna sue Walgreens cuz I totally hit a car on my way out of the parking lot.. NOT because they did something wrong but because I was too busy trying to check out some dude that I wasn't paying attention to how close I was to the car next to me... Needless to say I didn't get his number ** hangs head in shame** cuz I totally drove off... Don't judge me I was 17 and scurred...Karma is a bitch tho.. someone has totally hit and ran on me not once.. not twice.. but three times.. mhmmm lesson learned..pinky promise...

I must say I myself have ran into things while text walking... true story..walls, people. fell up a curb ((harder than it looks)) a small dog.. fukkin yap yap should watch where its going.jus sayin.. all sorts of things can happen when you text walk.. that is just the risk you are willing to take. You can't sue everyone for your fuckups..believe me if you could I would and I would be ugly rich right about now.. but I am not so you can't be either..

 

 

 

Guess whose back..back again..

So I am sitting at work listening to Drake....and an older gent calls me and wanna bitch about sum shit I don't have anything to do with.. I try to be nice to this old fukka but he makin me want to Michael Myers his motha fukkin ass right thru the phone..Anywhore..my point is I get off the phone like man I hate old folks they are so fuckkin cranky.. and then **ding** BLOG TIMEEEEEEEEEE a light went off like hmmm I wonder how long of a list I can make about things I FUCKING HATE..cuz I hate plenty of shit....drum roll pleaseeeeeeeee*****

*;*  I hate pretending to be happy when someone announces they are getting married or having a baby #BitchUrDumb

*;* I hate men who think they the shit cuz they got about this (    ) much  swagg.. BITCH you broke, aint got shit, and aint about shit.. shut up before I hurt ur feelings

*;*  I hate liars

*;*  I hate pretty girls with fucked up attitudes.. bitch I will slap the taste right outtcha mouth.. please don't be fooled by my soccer mom disguise...*;* 

*;* I hate fat girls in skinny jeans..uhhh bish you realize they are skinny jeans not put them on and they make you skinny jeans ((and im a fatty so pop off!))

*;*  I hate talking on the phone.. its 2011 text a ho!

*;*  I hate gas station cawfee #cheappuccino <------dead

*;*  I hate cats.. I will football kick ur lil sneaky ass like my name is Robbie Gould ((baby breath stealer!!))

*;*  I hate that I was on a roll..then stopped to pee and can't think think now

*;*  I hate morning people.. Pop off you ole early bird get the worm lookin ass

*;*  I hate when people ask me to burn them a CD...the fuck I look like Best Buy bitch!?

*;*  I hate people who call me knowing damn well they are only calling cuz they want summin but wanna pumpfake like they really are calling to chit chat #gettothefuckingpointbitch!

*;*  I hate cheaters..If you gonna stick ur dick in another bitch why the fuck you wanna lay up with me ho ((yes dudes are hos too))!? kill yoself please and thank you

*;*  I hate Rhianna.. I hate her voice.. I hate her fucking hair!

*;*  I hate men who are ugly tryin to holla at me like they are Gods gift to women.. boy if you don't get ur fukkin dog breath cockeyed dusty elbow dirty shoestrings lookin ass up out my face...ima call security

*;*  I hate lil dick men who think they got HUGE dicks! da fuck who blew ur head up ?? his last bitch must have been a midget talkin bout she can't take it .Oopsies I meant "little person"

*;*  I hate when someone calls me and asks "whose this" ummm you fuckin dialed my number

*;*  I hate clowns **shudders

*;*  I hate repeating myself

*;*  I hate being a bitch ((ehhhh we all gotta be summin right!?!?!))

*;*  I hate breakin a nail....that shit hurts!

*;*  I hate skinny bitches! Eat a fuckin HoHo!

*;*  I hate compliments **don't judge me

*;*  I hate Diabetes

*;*  I hate people who wanna sit right next to you in a empty room with a 1,000 other open chairs!

*;*  I hate a broke bitch who always wanna kick it...this is not I repeat NOT meals on wheels homegirl

*;*  I hate that I look at females and think hmmmm she would be a whole lot cuter if she jus let me make her over


*;*  I hate when I get a cup and set it on the floor and forget I set it there and get up and kick it over..FML


*;*  I hate when someone fucks up the lyrics to a song..


*;*  I hate how the entire top half of a big bag of chips is completely air...sighhh ((Soon as I open it I'm halfway done.))


*;*  I hate when women consider themselves to be "wifey" ughhh kill yo self!


*;*  I hate when people don't walk across the street when there are no cars coming.. sooo you really jus gonna wait for the hand to light up !? #PleaseStopBeingALawAbider


*;*  I hate bitches with chipped nail polish..jump already ho..are you that fucking lazy like really!


AND last but not least


*;* I hate hate hate seeing a baby(s) who look dirty and raggady like they haven't been bathed in a week with kool-aid stained face and dried up snot and dirty ass too small not matchin clothes on and their momma look like she jus got her hair done nails done everything did high siddity with her 200$ purse. BITCH kill yoself for bringin your child outside lookin like rahhhh! ole unfit ass heffa!*;* 

Totally having a MOMENT....

**totally listening to Nicki Minaj and drinkin my cuppa cawfee right now..that bitch always make me feel better and so does my java**

Not an A+ day for me.. Not even a fucking C day.. this day thus far gets a big fat F(-). I loathe you tuesday the 18th..((shaking my fist in the air at Tuesday)) I shall not sit here and complain.. Oh what the hecky..it's my blog and Ima whine like I am 2.

**clears throat**

Let me begin with... I HATE ((strong words.. I know..whatev..don't judge me)) worthless people.. Please exlpain to me why the Eff you are in my life again!? I'm sorry I didn't hear you? Righttt you do absolutley NOTHING for me except raise my blood pressure with your bitchassholeness...mhmm I said it.. What!! Say summin if you wanna..I feel like everything in life should be reciprocated..if it isn't then you really need to keep it moving.. I don't like one way streets.. seriously.. I always feel like I'm going the wrong way.. So same thing goes for life..If you aren't bringing anything to BB's table..then hunee bunnee you gotta sit at the kiddie table cuz you mos def can not sit at my table anymore...Ole Fukkas.

Pretty sure I am having a mid life crisis at 27.. yea.. I woke up today with 2pac in my head like FUCK THE WORLD..jeahh now I jus need a sak and sum henny and we will be skrizait...

Totally done with this post.. FUCK YOU, YOU , YOU, ur cool and FUCK YOU.. I'm OUT

FML and the gas station attendent...disclaimer- totally cussed an uber amount in this blog--read with caution**

Totally went to the gas station on my break((HELLA BUSY BTW)).. Shell to be exact.. can't pay for fuckin gas at the pump with debit anymore..((WTFTDTA<----IDK)) anywhore..went inside and fuckin forgot what pump # I was that damn quick... so I told Habib I wasn't sure so I pointed to Vinny and was like him right there..thats my vessel.. paid for my gas went out in the blistering damn cold.. opened my gas tank..got the gas hose out put in and clicked the nozzle..and whadda kno..not a mutha fuckin thing happened.. I'm like uhhh Helllar..Habib turn this bitch on I am Freeeeezing..waited a good 30 seconds ((FELT LIKE 15 MIN)) went back in and was like "yo what the eff my shizz isn't working.. Truth be told I don't know what he said back to me.. summin like you go checky the p*&&*^&^ number or summin.. he kept pointing for me to go back out side.. super pissey.. I stomp my ass back out to the fuggn pump and like Macgyver..I start inspecting.. hmmm it keeps sayin I gotta pay before I pump.. lemme click the unleaded button and see what happens.. **beep** nuthing.. fuckkkkk its cold! still sayin I gotta pay inside.. LAWD GZUS....where is Ashton cuz I am totally feelin punked right now....I stomp back to the gas station..I'm like dude WTF I put 20$ on pump 7 and aint shit happenin.. this MF'r was like ohhhh hehehehe I thought you said 11. I pre-authed pump 11.. really Habib fuckin really not cool! Not cool at all.. and why are you laughin.. this shit aint funny.. had to get in whip vinny around to the other side.. done and done!((ON THE BRIGHT SIDE AT LEAST NO ONE TOOK MY GAS)) Moral of the story is I am a slow forgetful bitch sometimes.. sighhhhhhhhhh