I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes. Hate in my heart, love in my mind.

I read this article the other day about a woman cutting off her mans dick and then putting the severed wenis into a garbage disposal. My thoughts were ALL over the place...


#1What did this muffukka do to piss her off?
#2 How will he ever fuck again?
#3 How the hell did it get to this point that she felt the need to cut his thang thang off?
#4 I wonder what a severed dick looks like?


I'm sure these are absolutely normal thoughts that one has when reading a story like this.


Now I can't help but wonder what he done did to piss her off. Ima go with he was fuckin around or he got caught up doin some bullshit.. Ima say that dude did the dummy and led this girl on into thinking that she meant more to him than she actually did.. kinda like Rocko said "we just be coolin it we aint going steady" If you don't tell a bitch that 9 times outta 10 she gonna assume cuz ya'll fuckin you go together.. So fella's keep it 100!! & ladies...dick is never that serious.. NEVER EVER.. Dick is everywhere and why females do the crazy dumb shit that they do over some dick I will  never understand.. But I am hoping with this blog I can enlighten a chick and hopefully save a dicks life..






I compiled a list of "signs" that you might be a JUMP OFF if...I hope this list will help these crazy bitches and save a dick one day.. real talk


Drum roll please………..


You know you are the sideline chick when…..


** If you get sent to VM ALL the time


** If you only kick it at night….


**If ya’ll “order in” but never go out


**if you gotta be incognito on facebook and talk in codes mhmmm you the other bitch


** if you write something on his FB Wall and it vanishes or you are not able to tag photos of him, and his relationship status is single… girl you really need to rethink your relationship

**if he tells you he care about you but he don't annouce you his girl cuz he don't like everybody in his business... ** BULLSHIT you the other woman! skeeeeeettttt


** if he disappears every Holiday… **cough cough** baby bye!


** when you tell himyou love himand you get “thanks” as a response.... bitch run!!! Run as fast as you can!


 ** if he hasn’t spent ANY money on you.. child shit not only are you not his main..he is cheap!


**If your name is saved in his phone as some lame ass nickname he don’t even call you...… mhmmmm you already kno!


**If you all are just “chillin"  6 months later.. he a dirty dog


** he get you pregnant and stop talking to you or demand that you “get rid of it” or claim it aint his then probably that’s because he got a wife that is gonna KILL him…


**you see him in public and he act like he doesn’t know a bitch..probably because he’s with his bitch


**Mcdonald’s is NOT I repeat NOT a romantic dinner..


**February 15^th is NOT valentine’s day.. so those discounted candy and flowers don’t mean SHIT


**if you notice a pattern of him calling at a certain time or seeing him on certain days.. then yous a HO..a sideline HO..


**if he has your house key but you don’t have his.. mhmmmmmmmmmmm child you AL-RHET-TY kno..


**if he always decides when ya’ll gonna kick it… yurp you’ze a jumpoff


**if during Christmas and Valentine’s day he prepares you ahead of time that he aint getting you shit like he a Jehovah Witness or he don’t celebrate that bullshit.. You’ze a jumpoff!


**If every time you try and talk about your “status” and his response is that you're nagging and complaining too much is why ya'll not official or why ya’ll gotta put labels on some shit… stop playin ya self.. you aint shit to him!


*** disclaimer***
Sidelines come in all shapes, sizes, colors blah blah blah… the baddest bitch could be a sideline. It doesn’t matter what you look like it can and probably has or will happen to you..girl fuck em girl FUCK HIM he the one that’s fucked up not you.. so don’t trip it happens..i hope this helps so you don't go and off yourself or summin...

Ho…Ho…Youzzz a Ho..Youzzz a Ho..sideline ho.. when you called his phone did he pick it up? Nooooooooo <-------that didn't help did it??

The car CAME with ashtrays for a REASON!!

***currently listening to "Neighbors know my name" and well that makes me think about the neighbors really knowing his name..which makes me think about sweeeeeet love..which makes me think about smoking after sex..which makes me think..ahh shit I quit...what the flocka am I gonna do afterwards now? shitttttt I didn't think this all the way thru CLEARLY!


So I hit the big 21+7 and decided that I don't wanna be a lushy chain smoker anymore...5 weeks later..I'm still NOT SMOKING.. lawd gzus praise gzus child gzus.... I NEED A SQUARE.. toodles....

Locked up they won't let me out

**BB's back..BB's back..got all these bitches screamin that BB's BACK...so let me tell ya'll whats been goin on since my last post.....not a mudda fuckin thing..a bitch hurt her back gettin her back broke and welp 3 months later im feeling better...so I'm bloggin

I got pulled over today b/c apparently I think my name is Danica Patrick and speed limits DO NOT apply to me.. so as I wait for the police to come tell me about myself..I start getting paranoid like I am a criminal...seriously pondering shit like...{{do I have any illegal drugs in here?? Am I drunk ((checks breath with my hand)) searches for eye drops and bubblelicious grape gum..Do I have any open containers of liquor on me??.. If I have warrants..should I run or just be a woman about it.. FUCK who am I gonna call to come get me?}} ahhhhh SHIT.. so I start texting folks like... yoooo what you doin right now??  As I text I'm lookin in the mirror like probably I should put some lip gloss on and brush my hair.. I would reallllly hate to have a bad mug shot.. just in case I'm in the newspaper under the crime stoppers portion cuz I'm a rebel without a cause gettin arrested and shit... I need a good picture not a fucked up one like all these other bitches... nothing worse then having puffy eyes and bed head...oh my gawww..cuz trust and believe me there is nothing worse than getting arrested looking like straight garbage son! I would know because it happened to me once... Don't fucking judge me jus listen to the story....

See what had happened was..I got pulled over way back when for having a headlight out ((PADIDDLE BITCHES)) ..so dude gave me warning but I guess he told me I need to take care of it and show proof of this nonsense.. you kno me.. I didn't show shit cuz what the fuck for its a headlight people... anywhore.. fast forward..


Thanksgiving eve I'm with my boo and his friend and for those who know me know I don't "do" the pot however I heart the pot and encourage people to blow it in my face....so my boo and his guy had been smoking in my car..I drop them off and I head home to my moms house <-- don't judge me I was still young... so 3 AM rollin to the p's house and BAM policia is behind me.. so yea  pulls me over for a license plate light whatev they have nothing better to do at 3 am.. I understand really I do! I give em my shizzy and wait for them to come back with a warning or whatev..Then I hear.."ma'am please step out of the car..**I'm oblivious still..like ok sure.. he then says.."please place your hands behind your back" still not getting it..I oblige..then he says "you are under arrest" my dumb ass looks around like WHO??? So as I'm getting frisked the other officer comes over to me like Ms. Brunson you've got 5 seconds to tell us where the "dope" is or we are callin the K-9 unit... I'm laughin probably off a contact buzz or sumthin..and my smart dumb ass is like shitttttt good luck with all that... SMDH this muthafucka was serious as fuck like..ok have it your way puts on his gloves and heads to my car... FUCK MY LIFE..


I should have been the sweet nice soft spoken chick that we ALL know I am cuz this dude TORE..listen to what Im telling you.. TORE my car apart.. you would have thought I was a drug lord crossing the fucking border or summin..He ripped my door panal all the way off...he has the canine back there probably shitting in my back seat...my poor car:( so ok..they don't find shit cuz again I don't do the pot..but these bastads take me to jail for driving on a suspended license because of a headlight violation...ARE WE SERIOUS! Where they do that at?? I'm literally in my drive way and I'm being handcuffed and they are towing my car... and oh I forgot to mention its November.. and I'm wearing a valour track suit ((crushed valour at that))with a halter.. with no undergarments and bed head **drops head..it's true I got bed head** .. STOP judging assholes! Oh and to top it off  I have a broken ankle and its in a cast..that im not supposed to be walking on but I am and I have no crutches AND on my other foot I have on a house shoe!! YES a fucking house shoe!! ..so I have to limp in handcuffs in a small ass backseat..I'M DYING YO! like literally DYING .. the car ride is like 20 min.. but felt like FOREVER.. I'm sideways in a car with my hands behind my back..the handcuffs are LITERALLY slitting my wrists..every bump is a tinge of pain..I'm singing the fuckin macarana  in my head to keep my mind off the pain "Hey Macarena Ieeeeeee' ...and dick head super trooper is trying to have a convo...  I get to the jail and they are laughing at me b/c they had never booked someone for driving on a suspended license because of a headlight violation...I didn't find the shit as funny as the CO's but what are you gonna do... they say I can make a phone call.. I look at dude like he has lost his rabbit ass mind.. I'm not callin my mother at 4 am to tell her I'm in jail...fukka that ok! I'm like ummm no I'm good..the officer starts to laugh and said "well since its technically Thanksgiving you can't see the judge until Monday you have to bond out if you don't you will have to go upstairs".. I said whats that? He said you will change into county garb and be placed into a cell until you see the judge..ewwwww I heard stories about having to wear other peoples undies and socks and yeaa...That's dead..Egyptian Dead mr. officer... so I call my mother..and Im like HI mom..I love you! Listen DON'T BE MAD but...I'm in jail can you come get me? My mother did the best fuckin thing ever!! She said "I am on my way!" Awhhhh I love my MoMski! even tho she yelled at me the ENTIRE ride home..
Moral of this story people.. Always wear underwear!!

P.the fuk S. I didn't get a ticket..and I didn't have to have a foot chase with the pokey...all is well with the world :)