**I'm back for a quickie** YOU ARE WELCOME ((IN ADVANCE))
You know everyone gets their link on the 1st and I get paid on the 31st so this works perfectly
for all parties involved..50 fo that hunnit..((never mind ya’ll don’t do nothing about that!!)) AnyHO..so on Friday evening I decide ima go to the grocery store ((instead of the club…Cuz that’s what real grown women DO! Jus sayin)) anyways I take the baybays because..well shit because they are my kids!
**I Pull up to Kroger and as I'm fixing my hair and applying my lip gloss.. I politely tell these little mo fo’s they either behave or they lose their life.. && they kno I’m a little off my rocker so they oblige
PAUSE **getting off track a bit but I just gotta know))
**I Pull up to Kroger and as I'm fixing my hair and applying my lip gloss.. I politely tell these little mo fo’s they either behave or they lose their life.. && they kno I’m a little off my rocker so they oblige
PAUSE **getting off track a bit but I just gotta know))
Does anyone else pick the 1 retarded cart that’s wheels don’t want to spin!? Never ever fails..EVER! and of course my children want the one that looks like a car in the front.. fucking greattttttttt..not only do I have the broke down busted one..I look extra fucked up pushing 2 big head ass boys in the car part…the damn semi of grocery buggy's or carts or whatev you prefer to call em..
So we are cruising along… doin our mudda fuggin thizzle..and Kenny my middle son starts fighting with his lil bruh bruh Debo.. So I tell him to come next to me..in case he gets outta pocket he is within arm’s reach..ya kno.. we get to the snack section..and I let them pick out 1 snack each..((anymore and we would be there all night with their little indecisive asses..)) Well Kenny decided he wanted 2.. Im like looky here you little greedy bastad..you gets 1..thats it that’s all!! LOW KEY lil dude was super pissed…but I gives no fuck.. 1 is 1 is 1 is 1.. so fast forward..I get my groceries..cart is heavy as shit it’s all ready retarded so Im pushing like a muffuka to make it move (( I LOOKED LIKE I WAS IN THE STRONG MAN COMPETITION..NO LIE)) …Im like fuck this shit..I need a drink.. so I push the cart down the sliqour isle.. ((WITH ALL INTENTIONS ON GETTING SOME MOSCATO..((BAREFOOT MOSCATO AT THAT!! CUZ IM CLASSY LIKE THAT BITCHES!!)) lol..So Im lookin and Kenny who is still standing by me cuz he doesn’t know how to act right is now messing with all the bottles.. Im like DUDE.. you got some liquor money!?? He was like NO.. I said “ then quit messing before you break one”
OK so as im lookin at my uber expensive wine J..I glance to the left and see a Kroger special on Svedka vodka a half gallon for 16.99.. STRAIGHT UP you can’t beat that.. So I’m like Shitttttt lemme get that instead of my wine…So I gets my half gallon of vodka and I’m like I’ll drink tonic and lime with it.. very refreshing lemme tell you! So I grab my stuff and head to check out.. and realize I can’t use the self checker because I have a cart load of food and such.. So I headed for the only check out open at 7:00 on a Friday night on the 2nd of the month
CUZ THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE RIGHT!? RIGHT!!
CUZ THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE RIGHT!? RIGHT!!
I head for the check-out so I can start standing in the long ass line..MIND YOU.. I have a 3 year old who is asking me every question under the sun.. I have my 6 yr old who has ADD and won’t stop messing with the magazines and candy and then my sweet boy..my ride or die my right hand man Bray Bray helping push the retarded semi truck shopping cart..So as we stand in line all I can think of doing is going home and having a drink! Shit I'm exhausted fa real fa real!! I realized I don’t have a lime.. and being as I have already been in line and there are now people behind me I ask Bray if he will go grab some.. So as he goes to get the lime, Kenny gets pissed and starts to whine about not getting to go.. So I tell him chill out and stop acting like that.. DUDE starts stompin his feet acting real out of pocket.. I gave him the glare ((MOM’S YOU KNOW “THE LOOK”)) and so he turns and faces the candy and then turns back around all excited with candy in his hand, and asks me “mom can I have this!? I said “NO, you already picked out a snack Kenlon” he was like pleaseeeeeee pleaseeeeeeeee pleaseeeee.. so I'm already irritated.. he has been acting bad since we got in the door.. I got a retarded ass cart.. I'm being interrogated by a 3 year old.. and I'm tired! So I’m like “NO..ask me again and Ima make you put your snack back!"
***this little shit was like “ IF YOU DON’T LET ME GET THE CANDY, THAT MEANS YOU DON’T LOVE ME!”
I'm not even gonna lie.. he pissed me the fuck off.. like WHAT DID HE JUS SAY TO ME!!!? I smacked him ((OPEN HANDED..NO CLOSED FISTS HERE PEOPLE :)) in the mouth like.. Watch what you say lil boy.. I will whoop you in the store in front of all the people!!
***this little shit was like “ IF YOU DON’T LET ME GET THE CANDY, THAT MEANS YOU DON’T LOVE ME!”
I'm not even gonna lie.. he pissed me the fuck off.. like WHAT DID HE JUS SAY TO ME!!!? I smacked him ((OPEN HANDED..NO CLOSED FISTS HERE PEOPLE :)) in the mouth like.. Watch what you say lil boy.. I will whoop you in the store in front of all the people!!
**Please someone tell me why the lady behind us in line GASPS and grabs her chest like I hit him in the face with a brick?? So I turn and gave her a fucked up look like **shut your dramatic ass up bitch** and this heffa actually had the NERVE to say.. “ that really wasn’t necessary!”
ummmm no she didn’t.. no the fuck she didn’t.. lawd gzus she did..she really really did!!
So before I can even think.. I'm like “bitch, shut up before you’re next” and then when I realized what I said I turned around like.. oh my gawd..I got EVERYONE staring..AND at this point.. it's so quiet in that mufukka all you here is the **BEEP…BEEP..BEEP of the register..so here comes oblivious Bray with the Limes..and you can tell he doesn’t know what happened but he knows it was bad..people are quiet..I'm pissed..Kenny's dramatic ass is holding his face crying..so he starts helping put the groceries up at the register in a faced pace..haha ..even Trae is tryin to help ((by throwing shit from the cart to the belt)) we got Kenny who is crying and the lady behind me ((whose probably callin 911 and the DCFS on me..)) sigh oh sigh..I get the groceries up there..then I'm trying to explain to the cashier that I’m paying with this portion of the groceries with link..and everything else *((INCLUDING MY HALF GALLON OF SVEDKA AND TONIC AND LIMES AND SHIT..with DEBIT)) you can imagine how unfit I look right about then… I KNOW EVERYONE IN THAT DAMN LINE WAS JUDGING ME!! ** and to top it off** I can't remember the girls pin # to save my life..I have to call the broad and hold up my quick escape even longer!!! LOL ((I couldn’t get out of the store fast enough..seriously)) moral of the story.. Don't take your children grocery shopping!!
X's & O's
BB
ummmm no she didn’t.. no the fuck she didn’t.. lawd gzus she did..she really really did!!
So before I can even think.. I'm like “bitch, shut up before you’re next” and then when I realized what I said I turned around like.. oh my gawd..I got EVERYONE staring..AND at this point.. it's so quiet in that mufukka all you here is the **BEEP…BEEP..BEEP of the register..so here comes oblivious Bray with the Limes..and you can tell he doesn’t know what happened but he knows it was bad..people are quiet..I'm pissed..Kenny's dramatic ass is holding his face crying..so he starts helping put the groceries up at the register in a faced pace..haha ..even Trae is tryin to help ((by throwing shit from the cart to the belt)) we got Kenny who is crying and the lady behind me ((whose probably callin 911 and the DCFS on me..)) sigh oh sigh..I get the groceries up there..then I'm trying to explain to the cashier that I’m paying with this portion of the groceries with link..and everything else *((INCLUDING MY HALF GALLON OF SVEDKA AND TONIC AND LIMES AND SHIT..with DEBIT)) you can imagine how unfit I look right about then… I KNOW EVERYONE IN THAT DAMN LINE WAS JUDGING ME!! ** and to top it off** I can't remember the girls pin # to save my life..I have to call the broad and hold up my quick escape even longer!!! LOL ((I couldn’t get out of the store fast enough..seriously)) moral of the story.. Don't take your children grocery shopping!!
X's & O's
BB
