*Currently perusing facebook while listening to Twista's new CD "The Perfect Storm" (( and if we keep making all this noise they gonna call the police ** in my Ray J voice ;))
I was on facebook like I am most every hour of everyday..((I need an intervention..whatev more than likely you a FB junkie too..so pop off and stop judging!))
Any hooker..I realize I was rolling my eyes a lot! Like seriously effin a lot! I realized something today.. Why the fizuck am I friends with half the people on my friends list? A. I don't even like people like that. B. I don't even like people like that and C. I don't fucking like people like that. I don't really fuck with you in real life so why do I bother in FB land?? SMDH and rolling my eyes as I chomp on my bubble-licious bubble gum.. ((grape-- and it's fiyah!)) I have several reasons for my annoyance.. and real talk I myself probably annoy people with my ignant ass ((ROTATE.. cuz I am funny and if you don't find me funny ur dumb and irrelevant :) Jk Jk.. I love you sissy pooh even if you don't understand my Bethisms or my Lingo.. I don't mind breaking down my statuses in a text message for you .. Pinky promise!
Ok ADD kicked in..back to my rant.. Facebook is ummmmmmmm.... well no people on facebook are dumb and unoriginal and just plain ole borrringggg. ***yawn*** and I have 5 reasons count em 5 of em on why facebook is starting to SUCK..
#5
Why do people put "married" as their relationship status when all they really are is boyfriend and girlfriend. Ok well that's cute if your 12, but when you are 24 perpatrating like you are married and you're the wifey is not a good look Ma! ... You are dumb and he is dumber. Go to the court house AND work that on out! True em effin story. Oh and what about the females that change their last name to that of their partners? WTF ummmmmmmmm why??
Ms. Alicia LovinMyBooAdamForLife Evans.. Bish if you don't Stopppppp! You know damn well your last name is BROWN why you pump faking. Are you that in love with him that you have to let the whole FB community know you with him or shall I say insecure muahahahaha??? Ok well if that is the case go ahead and go make it official.. like official official with the official stamp and the official judge and all that official jazz!!
PS. "Complicated" as ur relationship status....sighhhhhhh yeah that one really grinds my gears too! Ok seriously people.. Sooooo lemme get this straight..
^^^You want all your friends and family to know what a fucked up relationship you really have.. Either you are together or you are not..It really is that simple! soo Please pick one and keep it moving.. SMH..I am always tempted to comment on the relationship status when I see it in my news feed.. Like.. "oh really so it's complicated? Soooo he/she cheats on you and break up with you everyother day.. and now you want the whole world to know what an a effed up dillema you are in AND what a weak ass individual you are for putting up with it... NICE!
#4
Please Please Please for fucks sake STOP suggesting me friends! Gzus. I will add or accept peeps I want. I don't need FB's help. Like really that slut slept with my boyfriend in H.S. and I really don't feel like burying the hatchet with her slut ass now. I'm good thanks!
Andddddd dude totally stalked me for months! Like seriously months! couldn't get the hint even when I told him to go fuck hisself his response was.. "no, I'd rather be fucking you" ... ewwww really FB thanks for the reminder of a tramatic stressful time in my life THANKS!
#3
Number tres that annoys me about people on FB.. Annoying ass status updates.. this needs to be broken down cuz this is uber major and yeahhhh here we go.....
A.) statuses that CLEARLY your simple bish ass didn't think of annoy me.. ummmI just googled that shit yeah you didn't think of that quote urself... I am gonna need your unoriginal ass to STOP.. or make it known you didn't write it cuz I am tired... LAWD knows I'm tired of people commenting on how funny or entertaining ur bitch ass is.. jus know that I KNOW the truth!!!
*** Eye fucking roll!!
B.) Attention status whores... IDGAF about you or your fucked up dysfunctional ass makeup to break up drag everyone including your momma into your drama relationship... STFU before I unfriend you
Ohh also the ones that say sum shit like.. I can't believe this shit jus happened to me!! FML or summin like that.. BITCH what!? you can't believe what jus happened to you!? how you gonna type some shit and then don't tell us what you are talking about.. and you got about 13 comments from people like what is going on?? and you jus igg em.. You wrong for that Becky dead ass wrong!!
C.) annoying ass check- in status updates.. Bitch IDGAF that you are getting groceries.. Duhhh bitch it's the 1st of the month.. we all getting groceries ignant ass... Like seriously tho.. did you really jus check urself in at Kroger!? Fucking really!
D.) People who look for praise.. make me wanna stab my eyes out with a freakin pencil... ***Clap..Clap..Clap**
BRAV-fuckin-O you spent QT with your shorties..Ummmmmm that is your fucking responsibility as a father.. please kill yo self ole douche bag basssstad!!
E.) and lastly the worst kind of status updaters... Indirect ass bitchasses.. If you are gonna get all keyboard thug about sum ish.. be woman/man enough to tag the individual you tawkin bout or say the persons name.. Let's get real hunee.. If ya got beef than put the biscuit on the patty.. ya dig!!
#2
Holy Effin Crickey.. If I get one more Cityville..farmville..fuckville what ev ville. Ima drop bombs on the fish tank or city or farm! I gives NO FUCK about ur crops..I hope they all die.. And why the eff must you publish your accomplishments in these gay ass games all over FB.. bish STOP!
I got 2 more so we gonna do it like this
#1.5
Fast Frienders..
this is NOT COOL.. NOT COOL at all bobby! OMFGGG people who "friend" to fast....look chicken fucker I said "Hi" to you at my cousins step daughters nephews neighbors new wife's baby shower because that is what you do when you are introduced to new people.. That does not mean you can look me up on facebook and request to be my friend before the baby shower is even over.. and it is SO not COOL to send me a message on why I haven't responded to your Friend request? Please find real friends outside of facebook.. okkkayyyy!
#1
Tag whores
This is my biggest pet peeve ever!!! Fa real Fa real.. I also like to refer to them as hatin ass bitches..evil ass mean ass girls who tag you in a pic of you from the night before when you got swasted and u lookin more like a 2 $ cracked out hooka or Courtney Love rather than urself.. sighhhh like really did you jus tag me in this hot bed of a mess picture!? You are dead to me.. and as soon as I sober up..I am unfriendin yo bitch ass!!
<3 Muahzzzz. now if you don't mind..I have to go check my facebook
